Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit
Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)
The End of All Arguments
© 2011 by Will
Joel Friedman, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Know it or not, almost all of us can decide to develop the capacity to keep our equanimity as we honestly not agree with another's views or perceptions, while still refusing to argue. Equanimity, synonymous with serenity and inner peace, is simply keeping your feeling balance with minimal if any reactivity in any situation. In fact, every one of us can and does choose our attitude at every moment.
As there are no true beliefs, so there are no legitimate arguments. All arguments are purely fictive egos fixating on a position and "going at it" with another ego doing the very same. Usually the ego-mind perceives itself being "right" and another ego-mind as being "wrong." People rarely even remember what the argument was about, and when they do, almost without any exception, it was utterly petty, trivial and ridiculous. Arguments are egos on grand parade, making up stories upon stories, making drama out of the emptiness and space, creating an illusory, self-righteous something out of absolutely nothing. Is this self-constructed tempest worth sacrificing your life over?
What if we take nothing personally? If we don't become attached, fixated and over-invested in our point-of-view or being "right," then we have the freedom to notice our common ground and diversity. So what?! Without our ego taking positions coupled with dispassionate, compassionate acceptance, there's no room for fighting or arguments with life. From this vantage point you can afford to bear a shared humanness and our being of the same God-stuff, no matter how "not the same" we see anything. What ever happened to equanimity, integrity, good will and "live and let live" anyway??
© Copyright 2013 by Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D.
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