Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
 
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit

Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
While Dr. Friedman is no longer with us, there are still many helpful resources on his site. Articles and resource links have been relocated to the top. His family hopes you might find them helpful. But since this site is no longer being updated, some links may no longer work.

 


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Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)

Categorized by Process | Topic

From His Book | Meditations For Life | The Flow of Money, Business and Innovation | Transpersonal/Mind-Body | Approaches, Worldview and Will-isms

Skills For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | Feeling, Thought, Communication & Action

Strategies/Distinctions For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free

Awakening Stories/Metaphors For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | The Way It Is

Holiday Family Gatherings | Cartoons, Jokes and Humor | Poems and Quotes | Song Lyrics, Wit and Wisdom

Poems and Quotes

Quotes For Life 4
 

To the man who only has a hammer in the toolkit, every problem looks like a nail.

—Abraham Maslow

*

…but man, proud man,
Dressed in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he's most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As makes the angels weep; who, with our spleens,
Would all themselves laugh mortal..

—William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure, Act II, Scene ii

*

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in time of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality.

—Dante Alighieri (also attributed to John F. Kennedy and Winston Churchill)

*

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

—Lily Tomlin

*

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.

—Søren Kierkegaard

*

When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it-always.

—Mahatma Gandhi

*

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

—Eleanor Roosevelt

*

The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers.

—James Baldwin

*

Your life works to the degree you keep your agreements.

—Werner Erhard

*

Angels fly, because they take themselves lightly.

—G. K. Chesterton

*

The essence of communication is intention.

—Werner Erhard

*

If fifty million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

—Anatole France

*

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

—Jonathan Swift

*

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know.

—Bob Weir & John Perry Barlow

*

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

—Japanese Proverb

*

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.

—Frederick Perls, The Gestalt Prayer

*

One day at a time-this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.

—Frederick Perls

*

In my humble opinion, non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.

—Mahatma Gandhi

*

You see what power is-holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them!

—Amy Tan

*

It isn't the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it's how we relate to the things that happen to us that cause us to suffer.

—Pema Chödrön

*

Smart people learn from their mistakes; wise people learn from the mistakes of others."

—David E. Bressler's father, Free Yourself From Pain

*

A bell isn't a bell 'till it's rung,
A song isn't a song 'till it's sung,
Love isn't put in your heart to stay,
Love isn't love 'till it's given away.

—Oscar Hammerstein III

*

Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I am beautiful because you love me?"

—Oscar Hammerstein, III

 

George Demont Otis     Redwoods 2

 

Life is a game…play it.
Life is a challenge…meet it.
Life is a dream…realize it.
Life is a sacrifice…offer it.
Life is love…enjoy it.

—Sai Baba

*

In Japan we have the phrase, "Shoshin," which means "beginner's mind." Our "original mind" includes everything within itself. It is always rich and sufficient within itself. This does not mean a closed mind, but actually an empty mind and a ready mind. If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything. It is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few.

—Shunryu Suzuki

*

The world is made of rings. The hooks are all yours. Make straight your hooks and nothing can hold you. Give up your addictions. There is nothing else to give up. Stop your routine of acquisitive-ness, your habit of looking for results and the freedom of the universe is yours. Be effortless.

—Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.

—George Bernard Shaw

*

Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

—Abraham Lincoln

*

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

—Ann Landers

*

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty 'yes!' to your adventure.

—Joseph Campbell

*

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

—Eugene Ionesco

*

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

—Elie Wiesel

*

Winston Churchill gave to the boys at Harrow in 1941: "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty-?never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense."

*

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

—Epictetus

*

Don't think, but be.

—Ludwig Wittgenstein

*

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.

—Wayne Gretzky

*

Comfort comes as a guest, lingers to become a host, and stays to enslave us.

—Lee S. Rickmore

*

If it was so, it might be so; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.

—Lewis Carroll

*

If it shouldn't be this way, it wouldn't be this way.

—Ajahn Chah

*

Suffering is Not Inevitable
The First Noble Truth declares unflinchingly, straight out, that pain is inherent in life itself just because everything is changing. The Second Noble Truth explains that suffering is what happens when we struggle with whatever our life experience is rather than accepting and opening to our experience with wise and compassionate response. From this point of view, there's a big difference between pain and suffering. Pain is inevitable; lives come with pain. Suffering is not inevitable. If suffering is what happens when we struggle with our experience because of our inability to accept it, then suffering is an optional extra.

—Sylvia Boorstein, It's Easier Than You Think

*

It's not what we don't know that hurts us, it's what we know for certain that just ain't so.

—Mark Twain

*

The first duty of love is to listen.

—Paul Tillich

*

More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.

—Lord Alfred Tennyson

*

I am a light that God shines through.
He and I are one, not two.
I need not fear nor doubt nor plan.
He needs me now and as I am.
So if I stay RELAXED and FREE
God will carry out his plan through me."

—Jake Steven's Norwegian Great Grandmother

*

Simply let your 'yes' be 'yes,' and your 'no,' 'no'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

The Bible, New Testament, Matthew 5: 37

*

The word "yes" sums up spirituality and sanity. Fear is a "no" to what is."

—David Richo

*

I thank you God for most this amazing day:
for the leaping green spirits of trees and a blue dream of sky;
and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

—e. e. cummings

What difference does it make if someone rose from the dead two thousand years ago, if we cannot find a way to rise from the dead today.

—Joseph Campbell

 

George Demont Otis     Winter Evening

 

I am only acting as a mirror to your life, in which you can see yourself as you are; then you can throw away the mirror; the mirror is not important.

—Jiddu Krishnamurti

*

The heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form.

—Shinto saying

*

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.

—Thomas Jefferson

*

The problem of mid-life is seeing that you've climbed the ladder only to discover it was up against the wrong wall.

—Joseph Campbell

*

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

—Albert Camus

*

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts…

—William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act 2, scene 7

*

The ego is like the caterpillar which leaves its hold on a leaf only after it catches another. Its true nature is known when it is out of contact with objects or thoughts.

—Ramana Maharshi, Thus Spake Ramana, 99

*

Man's main task is to give birth to himself.

—Erick Fromm

*

It is not actualities, but rather the potentialities, of human nature that somehow provide us with a standard for a sound and healthy personality.

—Gordon W. Allport

*

The best soldier does not attack. The superior fighter succeeds without violence. The greatest conqueror wins without a struggle. The most successful manager leads without dictating. This is called intelligent non-aggressiveness. This is called mastery of men.

—Lao-Tsu, Tao The King

*

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.

—Michelangelo

*

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real Life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

—Fr. Alfred D'Sousa

*

In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart.

—Sigmund Freud

*

Most people fail in the art of living not because they are inherently bad or so without will that they cannot lead a better life; they fail because they do not wake up and see when they stand at the fork in the road and have to decide.

—Erick Fromm

*

Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

—Leonard Cohen

*

Do you prefer that you be right or happy?

The Course in Miracles

*

No mill, no meal; no will, no deal.

—American Proverb

*

He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper but he is more excellent who can suit his temper to any circumstances.

—David Hume

*

A wise man cannot be insulted. If the insult has no meaning, he ignores it. If the insult does have meaning, he deserves it.

—Aristotle

*

Four Kinds of Men
An Arabic Apothegm

He who knows and knows that he knows,
He is wise-follow him.

He who knows and knows not that he knows,
He is asleep-awaken him.

He who knows not and knows that he knows not,
He is simple -teach him.

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not,
He is a fool -shun him.

*

I am quite sure…I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices, nor caste prejudices, nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

—Mark Twain

*

Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.

—Henry David Thoreau

*

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

*

A book should serve as an ice axe to break the frozen sea within us.

—Franz Kafka

*

Without passion, man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of iron before it can give forth spark.

—Henri Frederic Amiel

*

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

—Dietrich Bonhoffer

*

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own.

— Charles Scribner Jr.

*

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it as someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

—Siddhartha Gautama (Shakyamuni Buddha)

*

The rule in carving holds good as to criticism; never cut with a knife what you can cut with a spoon.

—Charles Buxton

*

It is better to wear out than rust out. There will be time enough for repose in the grave.

—Richard Cumberland

*

Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that sets sail with no destination.

—Fitzhugh Dodson

*

The Promised land always lies on the other side of the wilderness.

—Havelock Ellis

*

Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.

—B.C. Forbes

*

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

—Nathaniel Hawthorne

*

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current.

—Thomas Jefferson

*

A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself.

—Louis L'Amour

*

It's a good thing to turn your mind upside down now and then, like an hourglass, to let the particles run the other way.

—Christopher Morley

*

Most people believe if they "have" a thing (more time, money, love-whatever),
then they can finally "do" a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will allow them to "be" a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love).

In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), "havingness" does not produce "beingness," but the other way around.

First you "be" the thing called "happy" (or "knowing," or "wise," or "compassionate," or whatever), then you start "doing" things from this place of beingness-and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you've always wanted to "have."

—Neale Donald Walsch

*

In a capitalist society a man is expected to be an aggressive, uncompromising, factual, lusty, intelligent provider of goods, and the woman, a retiring, gracious, emotional, intuitive, attractive consumer of goods.

—Toni Cade Bambera

 

George Demont Otis     Santa Venetia Marsh

 

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.

—Henry David Thoreau

*

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

—William Congreve

*

Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

—Abraham Lincoln

*

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

—Lily Tomlin

In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.

—Robert G. Ingersoll

*

It is wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellence lies before us.

—Isaac Disraeli

*

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

—Peter F. Drucker

*

Say not you know a man entirely till you have divided an inheritance with him.

—Johann Kaspar Lavater

*

Action follows conviction, not knowledge.

—Pierre Lecomte du Nouy

*

The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.

—Henry L. Stimson

*

One of the few things I know...is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for [later]; give it all, give it now.... Something more will arise for later.... Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.

—Annie Dillard

*

Our intentions tend to be much more real to us than our actions, and this can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding with other people, to whom our actions tend to be much more real than our intention.

—E. F. Schumacher

*

The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.

—Abigail van Buren

*

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

—Erica Jong

*

It is not actualities, but rather the potentialities, of human nature that somehow provide us with a standard for a sound and healthy personality.

—Gordon W. Allport

*

Tell a person there are 300 billion stars in the universe and they will believe you. Tell them a bench has wet paint on it and they will have to touch it to be sure.

—Author Unknown

*

If you believe you can or if you believe you can't …you're right.

—Henry Ford

*

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to so something I can do.

—Edward Everett Hale

*

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.

—Yehuda Bauer, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum

*

You are responsible for the world that you live in. It is not the government's responsibility. It is not your school's or your social club's or your church's or your neighbor's or your fellow citizen's. It is yours, utterly and singularly yours.

—August Wilson

*

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

—John Shedd

*

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

—Computer scientist Jan van de Snepscheut

*

What I am going to tell you about is what we teach our physics students in the third or fourth year of graduate school... It is my task to convince you not to turn away because you don't understand it. You see my physics students don't understand it... That is because I don't understand it. Nobody does.

—Richard Feynman

*

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

—Albert Einstein

*

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.

—Frederick Douglass

*

What is wrong in letting go the illusion of personal control and personal responsibility? Both are in the mind only. Of course, as long as you imagine yourself to be in control, you should also imagine yourself to be responsible. One implies the other.

—Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

Surrender is the doorway into Presence.

—Eckhart Tolle

*

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere.

—Ovid

*

For the Self alone is the friend of the self, and the self alone is the enemy of the Self.

—Bhagavad Gita

*

We must deliver ourselves with the help of our minds…for one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, the mind will remain the greatest enemy.

—Bhagavad Gita

 

George Demont Otis     Bend in the River

 

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

—Shakyamuni Buddha

*

Without illusions conflict is impossible.

—The Course in Miracles

*

You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.

—Teilhard de Chardin

*

Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent.

—Sigmund Freud

*

Buddha himself said, "I teach the path of liberation. Liberation itself depends upon you." From the same perspective, Buddha said, "You are your own master."

*

In biology, nature abhors a category.

—Joan Roughgarden, Professor of Biological Sciences, Stanford University

*

A dog which is watching a tree, is aware of the tree, but it is not aware that it is aware of the tree.

—Dr. V.S. Ramachandran, Phantoms in the Brain

*

The only way to live is to accept each minute as an unrepeatable miracle, which is exactly what it is: a miracle and unrepeatable.

—Storm Jameson

*

All paths lead nowhere, so it is important to choose a path that has heart.

—Carlos Castaneda

*

When all the false self-identifications are thrown away, what remains is all-embracing love.

—Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.

—Jose Ortega y Gasset

*

True understanding, which is enlightenment, can happen only when there is total effortlessness-in other words, in the utter absence of any comprehender. Then there is only the witnessing of the dream of life without the least desire to change anything.

—Ramesh S. Balsekar, A Net of Jewels

*

Yes lose self (ego) to know the SELF (That That Is)

—J Kalianandaswami

*

You are a child of the Universe, no less than the moon and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.

—Max Ehrmann

*

Enlightenment is the sudden recognition that non-duality is, has always been, and will always be the reality of our experience. Duality is an illusion. Consciousness is not private and personal, but impersonal, universal, and eternal. There is no limited personal entity, no conscious ego. The ego is a perceived object, not the all perceiving awareness.

—Francis Lucille

*

Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 per cent
Of everything you think,
And of everything you do,
Is for yourself -
And there isn't one.

—Wei Wu We, Ask The Awakened

*

This then, is the human problem; there is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness. We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

—Alan Watts

*

The surest signs of spiritual progress are a lack of concern about spiritual progress and an absence of anxiety about liberation.

—Ramesh S. Balsekar, A Net of Jewels

The Apostle Paul had a purpose in saying : 'Pray without ceasing'. Are we then to ceaselessly bend our knees, to lie prostrate, or to lift up our hands? .... there is another, interior kind of prayer without ceasing, namely, the desire of the heart. ... The constancy of your desire will itself be the ceaseless voice of your prayer.

—Augustine of Hippo

*

Our task must be to free ourselves...by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures...

—Albert Einstein

*

A Samurai Warrior's Creed

I have no parents-I make the heavens and earth my parents.
I have no home-I make awareness my home.
I have no life or death-I make the tides of breathing my life and death.
I have no divine power-I make honesty my divine power.
I have no means-I make understanding my means.
I have no magic secrets-I make character my magic secret.
I have no body-I make endurance my body.
I have no eyes-I make the flash of lightening my eyes.
I have no ears-I make sensibility my ears.
I have no limbs-I make promptness my limbs.
I have no strategy-I make "unshadowed by thought" my strategy.
I have no designs-I make "seizing opportunity by the forelock" my design.
I have no miracles-I make right-action my miracles.
I have no principles-I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.
I have no tactics-I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.
I have no talents-I make ready wit my talent.
I have no friends-I make my mind my friend.
I have no enemy-I make carelessness my enemy.
I have no armor-I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.
I have no castle-I make immovable-mind my castle.
I have no sword-I make absence of self my sword.

—Anonymous Samurai, fourteenth century
[Found in The Book of Runes. Ralph H. Blum, St. Martin's Press, NY, 1993]

*

The Gods are within.

—Heinrich Zimmer

*

The world exists within you; you are not a part of the world, you give birth to the world.

—Jean Klein, I AM

*

The world is only there because you are there, the eternal present, the unchanging "I am."

—Jean Klein, I AM

*

There is only one journey. Going inside yourself.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

*

As webs come out of spiders, or breath forms in frozen air, worlds come out of us.

—William Irwin Thompson, Imaginary Landscape
 

 


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