Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
 
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit

Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
While Dr. Friedman is no longer with us, there are still many helpful resources on his site. Articles and resource links have been relocated to the top. His family hopes you might find them helpful. But since this site is no longer being updated, some links may no longer work.

 


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Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)

Categorized by Process | Topic

From His Book | Meditations For Life | The Flow of Money, Business and Innovation | Transpersonal/Mind-Body | Approaches, Worldview and Will-isms

Skills For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | Feeling, Thought, Communication & Action

Strategies/Distinctions For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free

Awakening Stories/Metaphors For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | The Way It Is

Holiday Family Gatherings | Cartoons, Jokes and Humor | Poems and Quotes | Song Lyrics, Wit and Wisdom

Poems and Quotes

Quotes For Life 3

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

Thomas Jefferson, The Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1776)

*

Mediocrity is the standard of excellence for the incompetent.

—U. S. Marines saying

*

There is no time like the present.

—Author unknown

*

Don't expect anything (for yourself or from others) and you will get everything.

—Jean Klein

*

To go from opinion to perception, from imagination to fact, from illusion to reality, from something that is not there, to something that is, that is the way forward.

—Swami Prajnanpad

*

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us act just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest sense, something helpless that needs our love.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

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People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

—Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I've learned not to go there alone.

—Eric Kohler

[Addendum: It would be wiser still simply to not to go there (the ego-mind) period!]

—Will Joel Friedman

*

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

—George Bernard Shaw

*

Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

—Saint Francis of Assisi

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Once, it's an accident, twice, it's a trend, three times, it's a pattern.

—Folk saying

*

All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed.
Then it is violently opposed. Finally it is accepted as self-evident.

—Arthur Schopenhauer

*

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.

—Mahatma Gandhi

*

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds.

—Albert Einstein

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If you do something once, people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, they call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and you've just proven a natural law.

—Grace Murray Hopper

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The pioneer is the guy with all the arrows in his back.

—Author Unknown

*

A leader should not get too far in front of his troops or he will get shot in the ass.

—Joseph S. Clark

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And Alice picked up the little cake and on it read, 'Be yourself.' How funny, Alice thought, what else could I be!"

—Lewis Carroll

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Mindfulness does not mean pushing oneself toward something or hanging on to something. It means allowing oneself to be there in the very moment of what is happening in the living process-and then letting go.

—Chogyam Trungpa, from Ocean of Dharma

 

George Demont Otis     Symphony

 

Monks, if you want to be free from suffering, you should contemplate knowing how much is enough. By knowing it, you are in the place of enjoyment and peacefulness. If you know how much is enough, you are content even when you sleep on the ground. If you don't know it, you are discontent even when you are in heaven. You can feel poor even if you have much wealth. You may be constantly pulled by the five sense desires and pitied by those who know how much is enough. This is called "to know how much is enough.

—Shakyamuni Buddha

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Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believ'd.

—William Blake

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In this world, all qualities spring from preferring the wellbeing of others to our own, whereas frustrations, confusion, and pain result from selfish attitudes. By adopting an altruistic outlook and by treating others in the way they deserve, our own happiness is assured as a byproduct. We should realize that self-centeredness is the source of all suffering, and that thinking of others is the source of all happiness.

—His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV, The Dalai Lama's Little Book of Inner Peace

*

Every cell, every living organism on this planet, has a biological imperative, a built-in innate desire to survive. When we put a belief in the way, that distorts the natural harmony, the balance, and that is where it all falls apart. If you put a cell free in an environment, it will seek the most happy, stable harmonious environment-which is love.

—Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

*

Fishermen by a rocky shore,
winds blowing wildly,
in a boat unmoored-
such is our condition.

—Saigyo

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First there is a time when we believe everything without reasons, then for a little while we believe with discrimination, then we believe nothing whatever, and then we believe everything again -and, moreover, give reasons why we believe everything.

—G. C. Lichtenberg

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Swooping down from above while climbing up from below.

—Author Unknown

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Zen teaches nothing; it merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach, it points.

—D.T. Suzuki

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A mind that is fast is sick. A mind that is slow is sound. A mind that is still is divine.

—Meher Baba

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If [thoughts] can perpetuate themselves invading our brains and create an illusory self as a complex of 'memes', can the world we see be real? Could it not be a mere illusion as our sages expressed it?

—Dr. Vemuri Ramesam, Religion Demystified

*

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.

—Saint Augustine

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There is only one truth, one reality; everything else is simply entertainment for the mind.

—Gangaji, The Diamond in Your Pocket

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I had been my whole life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck.

—Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

—Attributed to George Carlin

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A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

*

We are all living in the nectar of the Self, and yet we all cry: "We are suffering!"
Everybody is in Divine Grace, Grace is around everyone, inside and outside and
everywhere. Yet we are not satisfied.

—H.W.L. Poona, THIS

*

Man is a god clothed in rags, he is a master of the universe going about begging a crust of bread. He is a king prostrated before his own servants, a prisoner walled in by his own ignorance. He could be free. He has only to walk out of his self-constructed prison, for none holds him there but himself.

—Paul Twitchell

For the Self alone is the friend of the self,
and the self alone is the enemy of the Self.

We must deliver ourselves with the help of our minds…
for one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends;
but for one who has failed to do so, the mind will remain the greatest enemy.

—Bhagavad Gita

*

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

—Mahatma Gandhi

*

The greatest concerns of men are these, to make him who is an enemy a friend, to make him who is wicked righteous, and to make him who is ignorant learned.

—Zend-Avesta, Zoroastrian sacred text

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If you don't have a cause worth dying for, then you don't have a cause worth living for.

—Martin Luther King, Jr.

*

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

—Dag Hammarskjöld, Markings

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There is only one cause worth dying for, and this is the Oneness of Man, and the reality of his relationship to his Maker.

—Ernest F. Pecci, Meditative Insights

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When you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100 percent of the time.

—Byron Katie

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You can't argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.

—Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

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You are always That so be like the breeze that is attached to neither the garbage nor the garden that it blows over.

—H. W. L. Poonja, THIS

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Among the great things which are to be found among us, the Being of Nothingness is the greatest.

—Leonardo Da Vinci

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The mind is empty infinity, infinite emptiness, full of possibilities.

—Yamada Roshi

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The True Teacher has no students, all is BEing and only silence speaks. The Perfect Teacher has no teachings because he know that you are free already. So the True Teacher's non-teaching is that there is no teacher, no student, no teaching and that Nothing has ever existed.

—H.W.L. Poonja (Papaji), The Truth Is

*

How can any finite vessel hope to contain the endless God? Therefore, see yourself as nothing; only one who is nothing can contain the fullness of the Presence.

—Menahem Nahum

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The game is not about becoming somebody, it's about becoming nobody.

—Ram Dass

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Who is content with nothing possesses all things.

—Nicolas Boileau Despréaux

 

George Demont Otis     Glory to a Sunny Day

Other people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

—Margaret Mead

*

Is not 'I am' also a thought?…The egoless 'I AM' is not a thought. It is Realization. The meaning or significance of 'I' is God. The experience of 'I am' is to 'BE STILL'.

—Ramana Maharshi, Talks

*

When you realize that there is no method, no system, no mantra, no teacher, nothing in the world that is going to help you to be quiet, when you realize the truth that it is only the quiet mind that sees, then the mind becomes extraordinarily quiet. It is like seeing danger and avoiding it. In the same way, seeing that the mind must be completely quiet, it is quiet. Now, the quality of silence matters. A very small mind can be very quiet, it has its little space in which to be quiet; that little space, with its little quietness, is the deadest thing-you know what it is. But a mind that has limitless space and that quietness, that stillness, has no center as the 'me', the observer, is quite different. In that silence there is no observer at all. That quality of silence has vast space, it is without border and intensely active; the activity of that silence is entirely different from the activity which is self-centered. If the mind has gone that far (and really it is not that far, it is always there if you know how to look), then perhaps that which man has sought throughout the centuries - God, truth, the immeasurable, the nameless, the timeless-is there. Without your invitation, it is there.

—Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Flight of the Eagle

*

I would say that Self-realization is what remains when the mind irrevocably dies in the Heart. The Heart is not a particular place in the body. It is the formless Self, the source and origin of all manifestation. Self-realization is permanent and irreversible. I also suspect that it is quite rare. Many people have had glimpses or temporary experiences of a state of being in which the mind, the individual "I", temporarily stops functioning, but I don't think that there are many people in the world in whom the "I" has died.

Papaji used to say, "What comes and goes is not real. If you have had an experience that came and went, it was not an experience of the Self because the Self never comes and goes." I think this is an interesting comment. If it is true, it means that most waking-up experiences are merely new states of mind. It is only when the mind dies completely, never to rise again, that the Self really shines as one's own natural state.

The terms "glimpses" and "waking-up experiences" that you refer to are temporary. They come and they go because the '"I" itself has not been permanently eradicated. A powerful Guru may be able to give a glimpse of the Self to just about anyone, but it is not within his power to make it stick. If the person has a mind that is full of desires, those desires will eventually rise again and cover up the glimpse.

—David Godman

*

Don't be so humble. You're not that great.

—Golda Meir

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If one were given 5 minutes warning before sudden death, 5 minutes to say what it had all meant to us, every telephone booth would be occupied by people trying to call up other people to stammer that they loved them.

—Christopher Morley

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I think it's helpful to remind white ethnics that they, too, came here in boats; that they, too, lived in slums; that they, too, had yellow fever; that they, too, were stigmatized as incorrigible; that they, too, had the highest homicide rates and the highest incarceration rates and the highest rates of mental illness; and that everything that was said about them in those days is now being said about Salvadorans, Dominicans, African Americans, Mexicans, Vietnamese, and Cambodians in our inner cities.

—Tom Hayden

*

I am quite sure…I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices, nor caste prejudices, nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

—Mark Twain

*

You who wishes to celebrate the birthday, seek first whence was your birth. One's true birthday is when he enters THAT which transcends birth & death - the Eternal Being. At least on one's birthday one should mourn one's entry into this world (samsara). To glory in it & celebrate it is like delighting in & decorating a corpse. To seek one's self & merge in the self: that is wisdom.

—Yosy A. Flug

*


Where is the problem?

—Kao-feng, c 1260

Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.

—Henry David Thoreau

*

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

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A book should serve as an ice-axe to break the frozen sea within us.

—Franz Kafka

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Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

—Rudyard Kipling

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One recognizes one's path by discovering the paths that stray from it.

—Albert Camus

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Without passion, man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of iron before it can give forth spark.

—Henri Frederic Amiel

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

—Dietrich Bonhoffer

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Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own.

— Charles Scribner Jr.

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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it as someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

—Siddhartha Gautama (Shakyamuni Buddha)

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The rule in carving holds good as to criticism; never cut with a knife what you can cut with a spoon.

—Charles Buxton

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It is better to wear out than rust out. There will be time enough for repose in the grave.

—Richard Cumberland

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Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that sets sail with no destination.

—Fitzhugh Dodson

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The Promised land always lies on the other side of the wilderness.

—Havelock Ellis

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Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.

—B.C. Forbes

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One does not discover new continents without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

—Andre Gide

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Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

—Nathaniel Hawthorne

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In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current.

—Thomas Jefferson

*

A mind, like a home, is furnished by it's owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself.

—Louis L'Amour

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Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows.

—Henry David Thoreau

*

The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.

—Sam Kinison

 

George Demont Otis     Incoming Tide

It's a good thing to turn your mind upside down now and then, like an hourglass, to let the particles run the other way.

—Christopher Morley

*

The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all. This puts one in accord with nature, in her manner of operation.

—John Cage

*

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

—Margaret Young

*

Most people believe if they "have" a thing (more time, money, love-whatever), then they can finally "do" a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will allow them to "be" a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love).

In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), "havingness" does not produce "beingness," but the other way around.

First you "be" the thing called "happy" (or "knowing," or "wise," or "compassionate," or whatever), then you start "doing" things from this place of beingness-and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you've always wanted to "have."

—Neale Donald Walsch

*

If the wrong person preaches a right teaching, even a right teaching becomes wrong.
If the right person preaches a wrong teaching, even a wrong teaching becomes right.

—Muso Kokushi

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A mind that is fast is sick.
A mind that is slow is sound.
A mind that is still is divine.

—Meher Baba

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In a capitalist society a man is expected to be an aggressive, uncompromising, factual, lusty, intelligent provider of goods, and the woman, a retiring, gracious, emotional, intuitive, attractive consumer of goods.

—Toni Cade Bambera

*

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.

—Henry David Thoreau

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Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

—William Congreve

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Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

—Lao-tzu

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To know that you know, and to know that you don't know-that is real wisdom.

—Confucius

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If somebody asks you a question about matters sacred, always answer in terms of matters profane. If they ask you about ultimate reality, answer in terms of everyday life. If they ask you about everyday life, answer in terms of ultimate reality.

—Hui-neng, The Sixth Patriarch

*

You'll laugh on the day of awakening, so you might as well laugh now!

—Longchepa

*

Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

—Abraham Lincoln

*

In the main, and from the beginning of time, mysticism has kept men sane. The thing that has driven them mad was logic.

—G. K. Chesterton

*

What we know of the world comes to us primarily through vision. Our eyes, however, are sensitive only to that segment of the spectrum located between red and violet; the remaining 95 percent of all existing light (cosmic, infrared, ultraviolet, gammas, and x-rays) we cannot see. This means that we only perceive 5 percent of the "real" world.

—Amos Vogel

*

After all, what is reality anyway? It's nothing but a collective hunch.

—Jane Wagner

*

"Turn on" meant…become sensitive to the many and various levels of consciousness and the specific triggers that engage them; drugs were one way to accomplish this end. "Tune in" meant interact harmoniously with the world around you,…express your internal perspectives. "Drop out" suggested an active, selective, graceful process of detachment from involuntary or unconscious commitments… Unhappily my explanations of this sequence of personal development were often misinterpreted to mean, "Get stoned and abandon all constructive activity."

—Timothy Leary

*

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.

—Eckhart Tolle

*

An ordinary man seeks freedom through enlightenment.
An enlightened man expresses freedom through being ordinary.

—Adyashanti

*

There will never be more of nirvana than there is in this moment.

—Adyashanti

*

Drugs are a bet with your mind.

—Sam Kinison

*

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

—Sam Kinison

*

It is just when opinions universally prevail and we have added lip service to their authority that we become sometimes most keenly conscious that we do not believe a word that we are saying.

—Virginia Woolf

*

Realism is a corruption of reality.

—Wallace Stevens

*

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

—Albert Einstein

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Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

—Fulton J. Sheen

*

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

—Lily Tomlin

*

In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.

—Robert G. Ingersoll

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It is wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellence lies before us.

—Isaac Disraeli

*

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

—Peter F. Drucker

*

Say not you know a man entirely till you have divided an inheritance with him.

—Johann Kaspar Lavater

 

George Demont Otis     Hills of Two Counties

Action follows conviction, not knowledge.

—Pierre Lecomte du Nouy

*

The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.

—Henry L. Stimson

*

The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.

—Pema Chodron

*

We do not "come into" this world; we come out of it, as leaves from a tree. As the ocean "waves," the universe "peoples." Every individual is an expression of the whole realm of nature, a unique action of the total universe.

—Alan Watts

*

One of the few things I know...is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for [later]; give it all, give it now.... Something more will arise for later.... Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.

—Annie Dillard

*

Our intentions tend to be much more real to us than our actions, and this can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding with other people, to whom our actions tend to be much more real than our intention.

—E. F. Schumacher

*

The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.

—Abigail van Buren

*

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.

—John Bright

*

We don't "have" awareness, we "are" awareness. And awareness "is" love.

—Scott Morrison

*

Pour new wine into new wineskins.

—Zen saying

*

Comedy is Reality. If you play real, then it will work. In the right bit, all you have to do is turn your head and react and you'll kill. You'll slay. You don't have to play anything big and slip on a banana and fart. 'Were doing a comedy so everybody act like an ass! Everybody make sure people get it. Joke ahead! Buckle up!

—To Arthur Grace in the book "Comedians"

*

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

—Erica Jong

*

Get good at mercy and compassion, some day you will need it.

—Fr. Kelty

*

When you don't require anything from the world and nothing from God, when you don't desire anything, when you don't strive for anything, don't expect anything, the divine will enter you, unasked and unexpected.

—Nisargadatta Maharj

*

The Truth is the only thing you'll ever run into that has no agenda.

—Adyashanti

*

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

—Leonardo da Vinci

*

It is said that if you want to know what you are doing in the past, look at your body now; if you want to know what will happen to you in the future, look at what you mind is doing now.

—The Dalai Lama, The Path to Tranquility

*

The last of human freedoms-the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.

—Viktor E. Frankl

Believe nothing, no mater where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

—Buddha [Even then, is it necessary to believe what you sense and know?-WJF]

*

Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them.

—Epictetus

*

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

—Epictetus

*

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

—Steven Wright

*

The degree of enlightenment which a mystic has reached corresponds also to the degree of freedom from the ego which he or she has reached.

-Notebooks of Paul Brunton

*

In Zen the important thing is to stop the course of the mind.

—Zen saying

*

When I dance, I dance; when I sleep, I sleep; yes and when I walk alone in a beautiful orchard, if my thoughts drift to far-off matters for some part of the time for some other part I lead them back again to the walk, the orchard, to the sweetness of this solitude, to myself.

—Montaigne

*

In a consumer society there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy.

-Ivan Illich

*

The world is interdependent, the world is interconnected. We are not only our brother's keeper, which is a statement of interdependence, we are our brother or sister, which is a statement of interconnection.

—Dennis Kucinich

*

There are two types of people-those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."

—Frederick L. Collins

*

Four Kinds of Men
An Arabic Apothegm

He who knows and knows that he knows,
He is wise-follow him.

He who knows and knows not that he knows,
He is asleep-awaken him.

He who knows not and knows that he knows not,
He is simple -teach him.

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not,
He is a fool -shun him.

*

Do you prefer that you be right or happy?

—The Course in Miracles

*


No mill, no meal; no will, no deal.

—American Proverb

*

He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper but he is more excellent who can suit his temper to any circumstances.

—David Hume

*

A wise man cannot be insulted. If the insult has no meaning, he ignores it. If the insult does have meaning, he deserves it.

—Aristotle

   

George Demont Otis     A Marin Farm

 

 


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