Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
 
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit

Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
While Dr. Friedman is no longer with us, there are still many helpful resources on his site. Articles and resource links have been relocated to the top. His family hopes you might find them helpful. But since this site is no longer being updated, some links may no longer work.

 


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Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)

Categorized by Process | Topic

From His Book | Meditations For Life | The Flow of Money, Business and Innovation | Transpersonal/Mind-Body | Approaches, Worldview and Will-isms

Skills For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | Feeling, Thought, Communication & Action

Strategies/Distinctions For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free

Awakening Stories/Metaphors For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | The Way It Is

Holiday Family Gatherings | Cartoons, Jokes and Humor | Poems and Quotes | Song Lyrics, Wit and Wisdom

Poems and Quotes

Quotes For Life 2

Definitions

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result.

Well adjusted: Being able to make the same mistake over and over and over and over without getting upset.

*

God is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere. ["The Absolute" is sometimes substituted for "God"]

—Attributed to an old Gnostic proverb, Pythagorean quote, Empedocles, Hermes Trismegistus, Nicholas of Cusa, St. Augustine, St. Bonaventure, Blaise Pascal, John Locke, Giordano Bruno and Swami Vivekananda

*

You cannot perceive the perceiving because you are it.

—Jean Klein, I AM

*

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

—Author Unknown

*

The root of all difficulty and conflict lies in the mind; therefore, the solution to all difficulty and conflict lies in changing the mind.

—Kusan Sunim, The Way of Korean Zen

*

Pride, ego and ignorance are all synonymous.

—Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche

*

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us act just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest sense, something helpless that needs our love.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

*

You are the perceiving, not the perceived.

—Ch'an

*

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

—Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

*

And Alice picked up the little cake and on it read, 'Be yourself.'
How funny, Alice thought, what else could I be!

—Lewis Carroll

*

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at eachother but in looking outward together in the same direction.

—Antoine De Saint-Exupery

*

And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and to know the place for the first time.

—T.S. Eliott

*

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

—George Bernard Shaw

*

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

—Goethe

*

Life is short, and the Art long; the occasion fleeting; experience fallacious, and judgment difficult. The physician must not only be prepared to do what is right himself, but also to make the patient, the attendants, and externals cooperate.

—Hippocrates

*

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

—Pema Chodron

*

He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.

—Friedrich Nietzsche

*

Never under any circumstance ask "how." When you use the word "how" you really want someone to tell you what to do. . .

—Krishnamurti

*

I am, but there is no 'me.'

—Wei Wu Wei

*

You are looking for what is looking.

—St. Francis of Assisi

*

That which is seeking, is the sought.

—Author Unknown, Buddhism

 

George Demont Otis     Desert Bloom

 

In order to come to that which you know not, you must go by a way in which you know not.

—St. John of the Cross

*

We do not progress from error to truth, but from truth to truth.

—Swami Vivekananda

*

It is all the mind can do-discover the unreal as unreal. The problem is only mental. Abandon false ideas, that is all. There is no need of true ideas. There aren't any.

—Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

The Enlightened man is capable of perceiving both unity and multiplicity without the least contradiction between them!

—Huang Po

*

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

—Shakyamuni Buddha

*

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

—Kahlil Gibran

*

Our body and mind are not two and not one.
If you think your body and mind are two,
that is not correct; if you think that they
are one, that is also incorrect. Our body
and mind are both two and one.
We usually think that if something is not one,
it is more than one; if it is not singular,
it is plural. But in actual experience,
our life is not only plural, but also singular.

—Zen master Shunryu Suzuki

*

She was integrated when she was one and when she was not one.

—Zhuangzi

*

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'

—Kahlil Gibran

*

The mind of the past is ungraspable;
the mind of the future is ungraspable;
the mind of the present is ungraspable.

*

I would like to beg you, dear sir, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which would not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, some day in the far future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

*

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

—Kahlil Gibran

*

The very act of observing disturbs the system.

—Werner Heisenberg

*

To be alive, to be able to see, to walk, to have houses, music, paintings—it's all a miracle. I have adopted the technique of living life from miracle to miracle.

—Arthur Rubinstein

*

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

—Kahlil Gibran

*

The first rule in opera is the first rule in life; see to everything yourself.

—Dame Nellie Melba

*

Intelligence is measured by a person's ability to see validity within both sides of contradicting arguments.

—F. Scott Fitzgerald

*

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.

—Danlele Vare

*

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

—Shakyamuni Buddha

*

Never try to teach a pig to sing. . . It wastes your time and annoys the pig

—Author Unknown

*

When the cure is worse than the disease we get well.

—Neal Winblad

*

Arguing with a Superintendent is like wrestling with a pig in mud.
After a while, you find out the pig enjoys it.

—Author Unknown

*

Think enough and you won't know anything.

—Kenneth Patchen

*

God is in all humans, but all humans are not in God; that is the reason they suffer.

—Ramakrishna

*

You cannot change the wind, but you can adjust the sails.

—Author Unknown

*

The hardest—learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.

—Mignon McLauglin

*

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupery

*

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.

—Michelangelo

*

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

—Henry David Thoreau

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

—Author Unknown

*

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

—Ancient Persian Saying

*

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

—William James

*

The way you make love is the way God will be with you.

—Rumi

 

George Demont Otis     San Venetia Valley

 

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

—Kahlil Gibran

*

Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.

—Zen saying

*

The question is not what should I do in the future to get it, but, rather, what am I presently doing that prevents me from realizing It right now

—Alan Watts

*

If the doors of perception were cleansed, then everything would appear to man as It is: infinite.

—William Blake

*

Everything is perfect in being what It is. It has nothing to do with good and bad.

—Longchenpa

*

The Self, though One, takes the shape of every object in which It dwells.

—The Upanishads

*

Everything that happens, happens as It should.

—Marcus Aurelius

*

Never the Spirit is born; never the time when It was not.

—From a Sioux prayer

*

The game is not about becoming somebody; It is about becoming nobody!

—Ram Dass

*

It is all only a great game of pretending.

—Ramana Maharshi

*

It (life) should be lived as a play.

—Plato

*

It puts obstacles in the way. It weaves a net and then gets entangled in It.

—Sathya Sai Baba

*

It (human life) is an endless illusion.

—Blaise Pascal

*

God has created the world in play. It is God Himself who is sporting in the form of Man.

—Ramakrishna

*

Every man is divinity in disguise. It is God playing the fool.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

*

It is always now.

—Eckhart Tolle

*

It is Eternity Itself. It is here and now.

—Swami Krishnananda

*

Who can explain it Who can tell you why
Fools give you reasons. Wise men never try.

—Oscar Hammerstein III, song "Some Enchanted Evening" from South Pacific

*

The heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form.

—Shinto saying

*

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.

—Ken Keyes, Jr.

*

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

—King Whitney Jr.

*

The words of truth are always paradoxical. To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.

—Lao Tzu

*

Nothing to do, nothing to force, nothing to want—and everything happens by itself.

—Ven. Lama Gendun Rinpoche

*

Form is emptiness; emptiness is form.
Form is not other than emptiness;
Emptiness is not other than form.

—The Heart Sutra

*

It is not so much that your are within the cosmos as that the cosmos is within you

—Meher Baba

*

Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed.

—Blaise Pascal

*

Nothing is silent.
Nothing is full of love.
Nothing defines who you really are.
Nothing is beyond contradiction.
Nothing is without beginning and without end.
Nothing is perfect.
Become full of nothing.

—Leonard Jacobson

*

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and ugly in us but our own emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.

—Eric Hoffer

*

To arrive at being everything, desire to be nothing.

—St. John of the Cross

*

I am a little pencil in God's hand. He does the writing.
The pencil has nothing to do with it.

—Mother Teresa

*

Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.

—Meister Eckhart

*

I am a book I neither read nor write.

—Delmore Schwartz

*

Everything vanishes around me and my works are born as if out of the Void.

—Paul Klee

*

You will get your maturity quickly if you stay in the nothingness.

—Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

You cannot conceive of the many without the One. Love is the pursuit of the whole.

—Plato

*

Outside of God, there is nothing.

—St. Paul

*

The eye with which I see God is the same with which God sees me.

—Meister Eckhart

*

It takes along time to understand nothing.

—Edward Dahlberg.

*

Living life:
1) tell the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth
2) put your whole self in, put your whole self out, put your whole self in shake it all about

—Chuck Hillig

*

We can see the drop in the ocean but can we see the ocean in the drop'

—Kabir

*

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

—Martin Luther King, Jr.

More important than learning how to recall things is finding ways to forget things that are cluttering the mind.

—Eric Butterworth

*

I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. Then I realized that I was somebody.

—Lily Tomlin

*

Who knows his own nature knows heaven.
So what is our true self That is the central question.

—Sankara

*

No matter where you go, there you are.

—From the film The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

*

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

—Jiddu Krishnamurti

*

The way things are is the way things are because that's how they are.

—Adyashanti

*

All ideologies are idiotic, whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man.

—Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

George Demont Otis     Road to Borrego

 

The description is not the described; I can describe the mountain, but the description is not the mountain, and if you are caught up in the description, as most people are, then you will never see the mountain.

—Jiddu Krishnamurti

*

You argue with existence at your own peril.

—Adyashanti

*

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

—Author Unknown

*

To generous souls every task is noble.

—Euripides

*

You are love itself when you are not afraid.

*

—Nisargadatta Maharaj

*

Peace of mind is the only true happiness. All the rest is merely misery in disguise.

—Tukaram

*

I woke up and suddenly got it. . . I understood suddenly how my thoughts were just an illusory thing. And how 'thought' is responsible for most of the suffering we experience. . . and suddenly I had this amazing feeling of freedom—from myself, from my problems. I saw that I was bigger than what I do. I was bigger than my body. I was no longer a fragment of the universe—I was the universe.

—Actor Jim Carrey

*

The mind turned inwards is the Self; turned outwards, it becomes the ego and all the world. Cotton made into various clothes we call by various names. Gold made into various ornaments, we call by various names. But all the clothes are cotton and all the ornaments gold. The one is real, the many are mere names and forms.

—Ramana Maharshi

*

The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him

—Chuang Tzu

*

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.

—Lee Segall

*

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.

—Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

*

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

—Baba Ram Dass

*

I am a part of all that I have met.

—Alfred Lord Tennyson

*

There's more to the truth than just the facts.

—Author Unknown

*

Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day.

—Polish Proverb

*

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.

—Ludwig Börne

*

The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.

—Edward R. Murrow

*

When the student is ready, the master appears.

—Buddhist Proverb

*

Before enlightenment—chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment—chop wood, carry water.

—Zen Buddhist Proverb

*

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

—Henry David Thoreau

*

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.

—Charles C. Finn

*

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound.

—Zen Saying

*

By daily dying I have come to be.

—Theodore Roethke

*

There are some remedies worse than the disease.

—Publilius Syrus

*

You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.

—William Blake, Proverbs of Hell

*

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.

—Ram Dass

*

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly—swatter.

—G.C. Lichtenberg

*

Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole.

—Author Unknown

*

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

—Navajo Proverb

*

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take" she asked.
"Where do you want to go" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

—Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

*

Each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind.

—John Lancaster Spalding

*

The map is not the territory.

—Alfred Korzybski

*

No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.

—Terry Josephson

*

If you're going to tickle, use a feather not a whip.

—Terri Guillemets

*

He who has seen present things has seen all, both everything which has taken place from all eternity and everything which will be for time without end; for all things are of one kin and of one form.

—Marcus Aurelius

*

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

—Russian Proverb

*

The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself.

—Bertrand Russell

*

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.

—Roger Miller

*

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

—James Thurber

*

You cannot step into the same river twice.

—Heraclitus, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

*

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty" So I drank the water. No more problem.

—Alexander Jodorowsky

*

Extreme remedies are very appropriate for extreme diseases.

—Hippocrates, Aphorisms

*

It takes all the running you can do just to keep in the same place.

—Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

 

George Demont Otis     Autumn Splender

 

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still.

—Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

*

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.

—Author Unknown

*

You can see a lot by just looking.

—Yogi Berra

*

Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that advises us to look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost; that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind.

—Leo Rosten

*

Who depends on another man's table often dines late.

—John Ray

*

Things are entirely what they appear to be and behind them. . . there is nothing.

—Jean Paul Sartre, Nausea

*

You become responsible forever for what you've tamed.

—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

When the pain is great enough, we will let anyone be doctor.

—Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook

*

A thousand men can't undress a naked man.

—Greek Proverb

*

We often repent the good we have done as well as the ill.

—William Hazlitt, Characteristics

*

The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.

*

—Buddha

*

Lord, grant me chastity—but not just yet.

—St. Augustine

*

Get rid of the self, and act from the Self!

—Zen saying

*

Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it.

—George Santayana, Essays

*

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

—Niels Bohr

*

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light

—Maurice Freehill

*

I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches are all hung, and Christianity and candles have been introduced.

—Henry David Thoreau, Walden

*

Eggs cannot be unscrambled.

—American Proverb

*

We used to think that if we knew one, we knew two, because one and one are two. We are finding that we must learn a great deal more about "and."

—Arthur Stanley Eddington

*

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

—Zen saying

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.

—Eric Berne

*

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.

—Aldous Huxley

*

Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights.

—Georg Hegel

*

We are spirits clad in veils.
Christopher P. Cranch

*

If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am

—John Lancaster Spalding

*

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.

—Francis Bacon

*

To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting.

—Stanislaus I of Poland

*

The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of truth—that the error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it is cured on one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one.

—H.L. Mencken

*

The future influences the present just as much as the past.

—Friedrich Nietzsche

*

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

—John Muir, My First Summer in the Sierra, 1911

*

One does what one is; one becomes what one does.

—Robert von Musil, Kleine Prosa

*

You can't fall off the floor.

—Author Unknown

*

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.

—Author Unknown

*

In general people experience their present naively, as it were, without being able to form an estimate of its contents; they have first to put themselves at a distance from it—the present, that is to say, must have become the past—before it can yield points of vantage from which to judge the future.

—Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion

*

The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

—Robert M. Pirsig

*

A stumble may prevent a fall.

—English Proverb

*

When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

—Friedrich Nietzche

*

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.

—Matsuo Basho

 


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