Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit
Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)
Our True Self: Our Reason For BeingA Supportive Meditation
© 2011 by Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
originally in Medical Hypnoanalysis Journal, 12 (1), March, 1997, 41-45.]
My premise: The experience of being "lost" is actually being "disconnected," having "misplaced" one's true identity as God's creation. My purpose: To help people release false self-identifications, create an inner connection to our "true self" and to know our "reason for being." Metaphors help evoke who we are not (false identifications; "petty human ego") and who we actually are (true identifications; "true self"). The former are largely tangible (e.g., appearances, things, and behaviors), worth valuing for their usefulness, while the latter are exclusively non-tangible (e.g., experiencing our connection to God), reflecting our true spiritual identity. Our "reason for being" is understood as being present and consciously living in the presence of God, actively integrating what we love of God, thus changing our substance and growing our "souls" and eternity. An experiential understanding of this serves: (1) To provide psychic relief from false identifications, their resulting loss and misery; and (2) To inspire a proactive transformation of self-definition and purpose in universal spirituality. Strong Caution: Since one cannot relinquish an ego one has not built, it's important to use this script only with individuals who do have at least moderate ego strength. Effectiveness is enhanced with discussion and acceptance of the concepts combined with skillful therapeutic judgment.
Yes, you may comfortably lean back, close your eyes when you will and gently, calmly relax into an inner peace beyond all understanding...Allowing all that is true, all that is loving, all that is from God to be wholly present...guiding, directing and encouraging our highest and best development. In your own time, in your own place and in your own way, you can now choose to both SEEK and FIND your most inspiring inner environment, most enlightened time, and most joyous connection in living...and experience a profound level of personal comfort...deep belonging...adaptive sureness...and a calm still point...in unique care of you, just as you are...Ahh...wonderful.
Today brings the splendid opportunity to see the "walls" and labels we inherit and create as arbitrary separations from life on all levels. By your own choice you can take that very same brick used to create unnecessary division and now built connecting "bridges", bridges that unite, bring understanding compassion, recreate the original oneness of kind, harmonious living as well as make whole and complete all relationships.
This time together is precious and priceless...and so are you and every developing being. Let the deepest, truest, most brilliant and best part of you, that is your spark of divinity within, guide you to an open door that leads into a brilliant, sun-splashed, fragrant, warm and lush meadow...a natural hearth. Feel your connection and place in this vibrantly alive, green world...and know that as all your senses become attuned to everything within you ...and everything shown all around you...that's when an inner connection can be created to our "True Self"...and you can know our "Reason for Being."
As surely as you take a slow, long,
deep and relaxing breath and feel every beat of your life-affirming heart, simply
begin to become aware and even more deeply know how we all have had moments when
we thought we were "lost"...when we were somehow...enshrouded in a fog...or
adrift in a cloud...when we were somehow unable to truly touch anyone, even ourselves...It
is time to experience, now on all levels of living, that no matter what we may
have falsely thought or believed then, our experiences of being disconnected were
only utterly human and universal, having temporarily misplaced our experience
of ourselves as fully deserving, first-class expressions of God.
Stay here and even explore your safe, supportive, life-brimming environment. What a moment...like standing upon a high mountain meadow, after a long and arduous trek, and ready to survey the countryside's entire scope, even down to the water's edge where an ancient lighthouse stands. It's amazingly clear, as it once was a long, long time ago, and the azure blue sky is beautifully resplendent all around you. Yet, even as you bask in this majestic scene, joyously drinking it all up, as you would a wonderfully cool drink on a hot day after some great exertion, you look once again ...only to find the water in the distance becoming ever more immersed in fog...and the mountain enshrouded in ever thickening clouds, all of which are the appearances that hide the true realities, the fog or clouds of delusion or false ideas that block this grand panorama of our genuine horizon, life and reason for being.
Being wise, the deepest, truest part of yourself knows that before you fill your loving cup with the true nectar of life, you must first empty it of what it contained before. So you can now begin seeing...sensing...and intuiting about what was really in your cup as you look deeply into that earthly fog around the coast...and into those thick clouds upon the mountain peaks...Look, listen, and feel ever more acutely what you believe and think you are... Notice what you may only dimly have glimpsed before...observe what you "bought into" without even knowing you did...perhaps quite early on...it's now safe and O.K. to open your senses, open your mind...and begin to identify the fog and clouds you called "you."
This becomes a powerful opportunity for you to be clear about who you truly are, about every aspect of yourself you identified with, and to notice this without negative judgment, without guilt or shame, without needing to defend, deny, avoid, resist, react or attack, since each is simply how you've said and seen "yourself" up until now in your life. Even after you notice what applies to "you", it is still up to the one who makes the choices within you to decide what to do about itsomething or nothing. It all still remains in your wise hands with our Maker available for wise guidance, loving direction and passionate inspiration.
Many of us believe they are their physical presence, that is, their bodies or appearance, height, age or weight, attractiveness, and even eye or skin color. Notice here what rings accurately for you...Of course, all of these are related to our body that is our vehicle throughout life, yet they hardly represent who we actually are.
Many of us believe they are the things they own, such as houses or apartments, property, cars, boats, entertainment systems, collectibles, clothes, computers and even jewelry. As William Shakespeare astutely observed, these are merely the props on the stage of life, at best on short or long-term loan, and hardly our identify or who we are. It's alright to notice which ones apply to you....
Many of us believe they are their seeming "worth" as calculated in money, on a financial statement or in the apparent power they wield, or drawn from the educational degrees and professional or trade licenses they have earned, or from how many relatives, co-workers or friends they have or even from their "self-esteem." Observe, if you will, which ones you identify with.... And as valuable as each may be, none are actually who anyone is.
Many of us think that their career, work or work products, including thoughts, writings, reason, logic and speaking are certainly what they picture themselves to be. It's fine now to simply note which aspects you perceive yourself to be....While these are things we do, produce or express, none of these are what anyone is.
Many of us think that how they feel, how they experience their body in terms of feelings and emotions as well as associations and involvements with other people, living things and the earth, fundamentally is who they are. Once again, you can take notice of which ones you identify with....And, it's also fine to notice, even with a moment's reflection, that while each example provides important feedback about what's occurring within us and between ourselves and others, none happen to be who anybody actually is.
Many of us have the idea that they are their ethnic, racial, religious or philosophic backgrounds, or the family, community, state, region, country or continent they live on or were originally from. Notice once again, and it's perfectly fine to give each a value and meaningful place in your life... Also you can begin to realize that while each may accurately reflect your lineage, none is really who you actually are, and that's O.K. too.
As you continue to look through the fog...through the clouds...you may notice other false ways you used to identify yourself, ways in which you became attached to being some kind or type of "you." And you can recognize each one, without judging or condemning anyone or anything... and observe the importance, the genuine value it has for you and others in your life, and begin to notice that, as valuable as each one is, none happen to be who "you" truly are, and that's just fine. Take a moment and look at the remaining fog on the coast...and clouds up on high...see, listen and feel whatever may still remain...
With the help of the immanent God within you, whom some call the "still small voice within" or "the spark of divinity inside", who only ever tells the whole and complete truth with great strength and equally great compassion...and the transcendent God all around you who sources your very presence and every breath...you can align yourself with what's truest within you and all around you...now you can begin to harness a mighty wind of change within and all around... and with several mighty inhales and blowing outward, scatter that fog and those clouds that were never who "you" truly are, all the while preserving the actual value and meaning each has in your life...
So, if you're ready, you can now take a deep breath in, focus on whichever part of the fog or cloud that never was "you" and send it packing as you release the belief or thought you mistakenly took for "yourself." Ahh! What a welcome relief! And again... Deeply in...and free yourself as you let go of what was never really you, letting it take it's rightful... honorable...and valuable...place in your life...good. Do this as many times as needed, until the fog lifts, revealing the ancient lighthouse shining brightly...and until the mountaintop becomes clearly visible and majestic, with warming sunlight splashing all around you.
And notice yourself freeing yourself from the chains of others controlling you, telling you who you are...what you should think of yourself...shedding the shackles of anything external aiming to control who you truly are ...what a supreme relief! And feeling a shift, like a tingling from deep within your gut that signals that the control is once again in your wise and capable hands, shared with our Maker...as we each invite Him into our lives, everywhere in our lives more and more...
The bright, shining, warming, true and brilliant sun, a powerful and timeless image of our transcendent God, now begins, at our active invitation and with our strongly desired participation, to clear all illusory fog, all hiding clouds, all that is false and mistaken...Now you actively harness our earthly light from the ancient lighthouse, cutting through the fogbank, clearing pathways, opening lanes of blue sky...As both lights comingle, the resulting brilliance powerfully breaks through any remaining layers of false ideas and beliefs about who "you" are...a wonderful feeling begins to grow, like the germination of a seed planted long ago within us that can now take root...and stretch as if on wings ascending upward in the embrace of our real life, making our being more and more "human."
Beyond the high meadow and near the crest of the mountain you perceive a lovely, loving cup...that spreads out into what appears to be a pond...then a lake...then an infinite lake that stretches as far as your eyes can see in all directions. The waters are so calm that you first mistake this lake for a huge mirror. And clearly it's reflecting all that is True...all that is Love...all that is Good...all that is His loving Presence...all that has no real opposite at all. You are dazzled and delighted...somehow mesmerized by it all.
All you survey now becomes so tingly, so sparkly, so seemingly magical and wondrous, so steeped in truth, love and choice. All your senses seem to come more alive, vibrant, vitally attuned and, as God's healing Light continues to shine so brightly revealing ourselves to ourselves, a wholly new, stunningly accurate, amazingly resonant picture on God's Lake of Love comes into focus...revealing "Our True Self."
As you rise to get a real glimpse at the heaven within yourself, you may see and experience many forms of awareness, all reflecting, in some genuine way, your true self: A will entrusted with a heart to develop...A child of God...Making the choices, in front of God...becoming what we individualize of God's diversity...A conscious creation of the Most High...Unique Being...There is a sense of intuitive belonging...A Light-infused, love-permeated energy matrix...a point of pure self-awareness...Heartfelt thankfulness...Complete communion, unity and loving relationship with the All in...One..."I am that I am"...Resulting in an inner sanctuary of infinite intelligence, wisdom, love and moving energy...Intangible self, true self, higher self and best self...Good will, trust and faith...Loving kindness...A lover of God embracing all "created" fellow men and women as brothers and sisters..."I am the kingdom, the power, and the glory"...Unfathomable cherishing and gratitude...complete mercy and forgiveness...Living and evolving in the Light, of the Light, for the Light and with the Light in unconditional surrendering Love for all and everything without any exception or exclusion...all-inclusive embracing acknowledgement... Coming home in a relaxed joy that's beyond words to describe...Delusion-less, illusion-less, timeless, spaceless, deathless service and whole-hearted contribution to all of life and creation...In wholeness, healing and holy blessedness with the God-pulse of all the universe for always, forever and ever, alleluia, Amen, Ommmm...We are what we love of God and what we scoop from His substance... and we can now make it our very own...
As your senses drink in all that you can now know "Our True Self" to be, you sense a deep inner knowing, our "Reason for Being" now being revealed inside of you...organically unfolding from within you like a flower blooming....As you scan all that each of us truly is, as reflected on the mirrored surface of God's lake of Love... know down to the marrow of your bones...and even on the molecular and atomic levels...that it's really our supreme privilege and gift, granted to us most tenderly and generously by dearest our beloved God, to identify in our life what quality of God we can love most...by freely choosing to commune and to live ever tuned into His Presence...to actively include into our daily lives and relationships all that we have ingested from God and, in that holy, transformative process have our very substance changed and imprinted with God's loving energy, transubstantiating ourselves within the spiritual realm... literally attracting from God's substance what we desire to make our very own, thereby becoming His true Sons and Daughters, growing our soul and true spirit, reaping the greatest reward of all: our eternity with God.
Find the ladle, yes, there it is. When you are ready you can choose to drink from His Loving Cup, His Infinite Lake of Love, Joy, Kindness, Strength, Choice, Truth and Good...knowing that this "water of life" takes on the form of any container it fills...supports and flows with all of life...running through us and being 98% of us...as well as all around us and essential for life in us and between all of us. From this moment forward you know on the deepest of levels, permeating and imprinting all you are, our reason for being...how awe-inspiring!
Now seeing and knowing "Our True Self", "Our
Reason for Being." Drink as long...and deep...and filled as you want, lingering
here, thoroughly quenching your thirst for life. Bask in the sacred Light's glow,
enjoying what it reflects off His Loving Cup, off His Infinite Lake of Love. Scoop
up another ladle...and then another...almost immersing yourself in the joy, splashing
in a holy second baptism of "Our True Self", literally growing, building,
evolving and elaborating our soul in God's Embrace, Inspiration, Passion and Ever-flowing
You may choose to return here as often as you wish. All you need do is take a deep breath, invoke our God's Presence and say "Our True Self, Our Reason for Being" and almost immediately you will be projected and transported back to the meadow and mountain peak, surveying all in His Loving Cup, and drinking in His Infinite Lake of Love. A slice of heaven here on earth within ourselves...to build in communion and resulting in an active change of our substance...is ever available for everyone of us as we drink of Him, take of Him into our lives, into our relationships, into our work, into respectfully, honestly and lovingly greeting our human brother and sister.
Retaining and remembering all that is most therapeutic, helpful and beneficial...and
letting go of whatever is called for...letting all the puzzle pieces come together
to fill out and reveal the bigger and brighter picture of our lives in moments
of awareness and insight.... Completing healing dreams over the next several nights,
weeks, months and even years...You can awaken totally refreshed, rejuvenated,
re-energized and renewed in knowing and living "Our True Self", "Our
Reason for Being." Now you can easily stretch: "Grow and Be Fruitful"
and welcome your "True Self" , your "Greater Self", here for
Biography of Author
Dr. Will Joel Friedman received his Ph.D. at Claremont Graduate School and is presently a licensed psychologist in private clinical practice in Loma Linda, California. He is a clinical member of AAMH, a Diplomate of both the American Board of Medical Psychotherapists and the American Society of Pain Management, an "Approved Consultant" of ASCH, and current president of the Los Angeles Academy of Clinical Hypnosis. Even more significantly, he is a husband to his lifetime 'bride' Dominique, a father deeply bonded to his son Gregory and a "mensch-in-training," aspiring to commune with God in everything.
© Copyright 2013 by Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D.
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