Welcome to the archived web site of
Will Joel Friedman, Ph.D. Psychologist (1950-2013)
California License No. PSY 10092
 
Specializing in Presence-Centered Therapy
balancing mind and heart, body and spirit

Now in memoriam - This website is no longer being updated
While Dr. Friedman is no longer with us, there are still many helpful resources on his site. Articles and resource links have been relocated to the top. His family hopes you might find them helpful. But since this site is no longer being updated, some links may no longer work.

 


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Articles by Dr. Friedman (except where noted otherwise)

Categorized by Process | Topic

From His Book | Meditations For Life | The Flow of Money, Business and Innovation | Transpersonal/Mind-Body | Approaches, Worldview and Will-isms

Skills For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | Feeling, Thought, Communication & Action

Strategies/Distinctions For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free

Awakening Stories/Metaphors For Life: The Core Playing Field | Free the Ego, and You Are Free | The Way It Is

Holiday Family Gatherings | Cartoons, Jokes and Humor | Poems and Quotes | Song Lyrics, Wit and Wisdom

Jokes, Cartoons and Wisdom

The World According to W.C. Fields
 

Actor and comedian W.C. Fields had a career in the movies that spanned almost thirty years, from 1915 to 1944. Enjoy his unique brand of humor at just about everyone else's expense. His humor regarding drinking liquor, women and children is only his unique form of humor, and absolutely nothing more!

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

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Never mind what I told you—you do as I tell you.

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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

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Never give a sucker an even break.

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

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A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.

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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

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I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

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..more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.


George Demont Otis      Lagunitas SRA

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, by making a dog play dead.

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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

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(In a restaurant to waitress): "I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here."

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(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."

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Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."

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I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.

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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

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After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

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Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

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When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer."

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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancée.

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I hear the tusks are looser in Alabama.

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Lady Godiva put everything she had on a horse.

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Late in his life, when Fields was ill and confined to bed, a friend found him reading the Bible and asked, "What the hell are you doing?" Fields replied, "Looking for loopholes." Happiness means quiet nerves.

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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

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She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave.

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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

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I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax.

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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.

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Thou shalt not steal—only from other comedians.

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I was married once-in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.


George Demont Otis      Lupine

 


Home | Dedication/Orientation | Articles by Dr. Friedman | Video and Audio Clips | Annotated Resource Links | Psychology Professionals

Dr. Will’s Perspective on Practicing Psychology: Dr. Friedman's Practice | Dr. Friedman's Approach | Therapeutic Purposes | Credentials | Experience | Brochures | Interview | Events and Workshops | Website Disclaimer | Contact